Aight

It’s the end of the year and there’s a piece of writing from 2010 that I haven’t posted on my blog yet. Some say it was my best work in 2010. I’m not sure about that. It was requested by a few friends that I post it, but I was reluctant and I am still not 100% sold on it. The trouble is it is at the expense of someone else, although he deserved it. It also was a bit out of character for me,although, I can be a bit of a bulldog when someone messes with my family. Well, maybe not a bulldog, but at least a shih-tzu with a twist in my tail. There are two other reasons, one is that there’s a back story to the whole thing and the other is that it is lengthy. Now that I have either got your curiosity up or totally turned you off to this blog, I will begin the back story.

Five or six years ago Mike started a Nascar pool. Similar to a fantasy football league, you pick your “team” at the beginning of the race season and then follow them until the season ends. For those of you who, like me, don’t know much about Nascar, the season starts in February and ends in November. Each week Mike tallies up the points and then emails them out. This process is a lot of math, double checking and entering things into a spreadsheet correctly. It’s time consuming, but has gotten a little more streamlined as Mike has become more computer literate over time. The pool has grown from about 20 people to about 66 and we don’t even know all of the people participating at this point. Mike collects the money at the beginning and then gives out a cash prize (based on some percentages) to the top ten people in the end. He doesn’t keep any money for himself, makes no commission, doesn’t charge extra, etc. etc. So it’s just for fun.

This summer as Mike was taking a summer class (or two I can't remember), hanging with the family, doing house projects etc, he fell behind in sending out the results. Now of course, if you really want to know how your team is doing you could go to NASCAR. com and add all your drivers points together yourself, but Mike tries to get these things out in a timely manner. Again, this summer Mike was a little behind (not four weeks as the accusation states) and that’s where our story really begins.

A certain member of the pool, we shall call him JH, who we don’t know at all, was very unhappy that Mike was behind. Instead of emailing and asking politely what was going on he sent an email out to every single person participating in the pool. And so I now present his email, Mike’s response, his response and then my response. Before I do I want to say there were a lot of other emails that supported Mike and no one stepped forward to support this other guy. I kind of felt bad for him in a way, but he brought it on himself. Since I am leaving his name out of this and since it is for your entertainment purposes, I’m not going to feel bad about posting this. And so I present the “Aight” emails. That was the subject line in JH’s original email. Think Alright, with a southern twang to it.
JH:
OK,
This is just me talking here, and, I have had a few.....so....here it goes......

The Points need to be shown every week. I am tired of waiting 4 weeks to see where I stand! Is it that Hard? if it is, then there needs to be someone else appointed to compute the race. If someone is that busy to where they cannot due the job of a " Commish" then they should not collect money! start showing the Points after each race.....is it that Hard?????? Send me the program and I will upload the race results every weekend.....dang!!

Mike’s cordial and, I think, kind response:

I've had a few myself, so here I go....

Sorry about the delay in getting the past two weeks of results out. But life takes precedence over this "game". It is transfer season, vacation season, and final exam season in my household. Ritdc1 and I created this pool 5 years ago because it makes following the races more fun. It gets people involved in NASCAR that have never even watched a race before. I have never taken a dime of commission from the money people put into this pool, it has always gone to the winners.
I have officially transferred, am off vacation, and have passed my final exam, so I'll be more punctual in getting the weekly results out.

Thanks for everyone's patience...and most of all, for playing this pool.

You will find the past two weeks of results attached plus today's (unofficial) results.

Now another friend of Mike’s who received the emails (remember over 60 people received JH’s email) sent one saying “Just as Nascar institutes a penalty against drivers who speak out against the corporation JH should incur a penalty for lashing out against the commish.” Well, this didn’t sit well with old JH and here’s what happened next.

JH:
I have incurred a penalty!! Waiting 4 weeks for an update is crazy. At least when drivers are penalized, they know what the fine is by that Tuesday!! The fact that there are " 95%" or more members that were wondering the same thing and I just happen to be the one who says something. No one ever said that anyone was gaining any thing thing from this, all i want to know is where I stand week to week. Not Month to month....Period.

In a Nut shell, I am no "Overnight", "Fair Weather", "I love Jeff Gordon", ' Jimmie Johnson", "Dale Jr" kinda Race fan, show me the results!!!! :-)

I went through a Transfer too. Moved a family of 5 from Paris, TN to St Pete, FL. Started a new job, kids a new school, wife a new job, and me....well, thats a whole new story! Didnt keep me from checking my Yahoo too see what my standings were. It doesnt take this to keep me a NASCAR fan.
That was for you Markus!
*****
(Just a side note no one knows who Markus is).

Okay and now the moment you have been patiently waiting for. My responsewhich I sent to all 66 people as well…..

Phew, I'm glad someone is finally speaking up for the "95%" of us (which of course includes Mike's parents, his in-laws, his siblings, his grandparents, his children and me, his wife). We are sick and tired of Mike's antics. Just between you and me, Jeff, we are at our wits' end. We've been planning a family intervention-maybe we can Skype you in on it, you seem like you'd have some great input. You just have no idea what it's like to live with this guy. I mean talk about mixed-up priorities! He says things like "Let's do a road trip up and down the coast, it would be an amazing experience for the kids," but I'm thinking "Dang! Not till you get them race results posted, I have no idea where I stand and I know them damn redwood trees won't have any internet in 'em."

The truth is, this is the 21st century and we all know that there's no need to spend time with your family when you could just shoot them an email while working on NASCAR results. Oh and then those lame excuses about going to school while working full-time, final exams, buying a new house, transferring out of his unit, blah blah blah. Why doesn't he just write a country song about it, am I right? A college education is so yesterday, anyway, why's he wasting his time on that? Don't even get me started about his exercise habits, he's all into his health and stuff, pah-lease, I say if he wants to work out, he should be working those fingertips on the keyboard, Aight!

I just can't believe that after five years of doing this--growing the pool of people from 20 to 66, creating a formula and spreadsheet, setting up an easy pay system, listening to people's feedback and doing his best to accomodate everyone, he just can't see how much pain he causes the "95%" of us when he falls behind in sending out the results. I am hoping the intervention will help, if not I'm thinking of leaving him. Actually we all are, the entire 95% of us, we just don't know what else to do, really.

JH, I just can't thank you enough for taking the high road and sending your email of complaint to all of us instead of just Mike. That is really going to open up some eyes around here. Maybe get the other 5% on our side. It's refreshing to see at least someone has his priorities straight. Oh and I totally agree with you on the whole Jeff Gordon, Jimmie Johnson thing, I'm all about #26 Go Ricky Bobby!!

Thanks again,
Aimee

And so you have it. Was it my best of 2010? I don’t think so, but it kept some Nascar fans entertained. Happy New Year. Be safe,Be Happy, Be good---Aight? 

holiday spirit

Growing up my Aunt and her family did their own thing on Christmas. We did ours. They usually came over for dessert after the separate festivities were said and done. It was a fine existence really, but we had no idea what we were missing. At some point in the last fifteen years or so that changed. Soon we were spending the holidays together. These were new dynamics and though things could get a little loud, perhaps a little heated here and there, I absolutely love holidays with the whole crew. Each year the holiday traditions continued to evolve until we perfected the gift exchange. Now, your family might do a Yankee Swap, or a grab, or choose names, or a White Elephant, or separate gifts for everyone or (gasp) no gifts at all, and you might think your family gift exchange is fun or necessary or what have you. Well, I am happy that you are satisfied with your exchange, but I can guarantee you ours is more fun. Sorry, it’s true. I’m not usually one to brag, but I am going to just get this out on the table. Ours is better. While your exchange is all about the day of…the best parts of ours happen in the weeks leading up to it.

First of all who you draw in the exchange is top secret. I know of families who draw and say something like “Aunt Margie, I have you this year, what do you want?” We are not that family. In fact we used to have a cousin named Jeremy who would do that very thing. So on Christmas eve 2002, when old Saint Nick wasn’t looking, we tossed Jeremy in Santa’s sack, and we haven’t seen him since. We just have no patience for that kind of cousin.

The goal in our exchange is to find out who has who. You need to be sneaky, deceptive and always on your toes. In the end whoever has the most guesses right, not only gets their regular gift, but also gets an additional prize. Now I am pretty good, my cousin Carly is, perhaps, a little better. We formed an alliance several years ago and we are a dream team. My sister Amanda is usually part of the alliance, but this year she’s holding out…hmmm I wonder why. My mom will sometimes exchange info with me, but not always, case in point, this year she is refusing thus far, which means she probably has me, but that blows my theory about Amanda having me. I think they have thrown together their own little alliance, which is fine, but they’ll be back.No one leaves for long.

Like I said before, it is imperative that you leave no stone unturned to find out who has who. Now I’m not going to tell you my tactics, but let me just say that years and years in front of the TV has given me an idea or two. When I walk into a room people start to quiver. Sure I might be more like Maxwell Smart than Jack Bauer, but the point is I can get the job done. While many mothers spent this morning cleaning their homes, feeding their children breakfast and, perhaps, creating a grocery list or something; I spent my morning mapping out who I think has who. Or who has whom, or whom has whom, or, well you get the point. I have some confirmed reports, and some good guesses. One or two of my pieces of information were obtained illegally and for that I am sorry, but the point is, this year, I am going to win the prize.

The past two years we have been using Elfster.com. Everyone signs up on the free website, we pick a date and then we are emailed who we have. One person is the administrator (that’s me) and if necessary can sneak a peek if someone is a little technology impaired and can’t figure out who they have. So, what I am saying is that I have access to who everyone has. Now a lesser person would just peek and call it good. I’m not a lesser person. Instead I live in a constant state of torture. It’s like putting a juicy steak in front of a dog or putting a piece of chocolate cake in front of a PMSing woman--And keeping it there for three maybe even four weeks. It’s good discipline for me I suppose, but it’s not easy knowing that I could simply head over to Elfster and end it all. That of course would be no fun, though. I much prefer the sneaking around, the fishing, the mind games-It’s definitely more my style.

So this year when you are reflecting on the true spirit of the holidays—giving, helping, peace, love, charity, putting your best foot forward, etc.—I will be withholding food and water from my 82 year old grandmother in hopes that she tell me who she has for this year’s exchange…

Merry Christmas, Happy Belated Hannukah, Have a fantastic 2011.