It's in the Mail

My friends and I used to be big letter writers. Way back before texting and emailing, we used to be huge fans of passing notes in class and sending letters via the USPS. It really was a fun treat to go to the mailbox and find a letter with my name on it. Now it’s rare for me to send or receive a long email, never mind a handwritten letter. It’s not a big deal really. I have no hard feelings about it. I do quite well with facebook, texting and phone calls. And maybe it makes this time of year all the sweeter. Money and jewelry aside, there’s nothing I love receiving more than a Christmas card. I am especially fond of the photo cards that people send. I love to see everyone’s children or their pets. Even some of my friends who don’t have kids, or whose kids have long since left the nest, send cards. I love to look at pictures of my friends and family and see how they’ve chosen to represent their life this year. And, it makes me happy to know that these people thought of me, even if the thought was “Why the heck are the Allens still on our card list?”

Having made so many moves in our Coast Guard life, we have the good fortune of knowing a lot of great people. Our walls are covered with these Christmas card treats, which makes me very happy. This year we haven’t received as many cards as we did in the past. I have a couple of theories. The first and most logical theory is that several so-called friends now hate me because I’m so darn cute and perky. In a jealous rage they have decided to blackball me from their Holiday Cheer. Theory two-the Jen theory-is that anyone named Jennifer is banned by the government to send mail to anyone named Aimee, and since 65% of my friends are named Jennifer, I have received only 35% of the usual mailings. The next theory, though less likely, is that fewer people have sent cards out this year. According to this particular theory it’s because they have other things in life they are trying to manage and can’t balance it all (as if). The final theory, the one certain people are calling “THE TRUTH” is that they have the wrong address. Last year all of our mail was forwarded because it had been less than a year since we moved in, but this year the post office is returning to sender. So supposedly a bunch of my friends have received their original cards and will be re-mailing them ASAP. (Right). Oh as I re-read this I suppose the last two theories have some merit, but not much.

Wow, it looks like I am basing my self-worth and popularity on a bunch of cards. That would just be weird and a little desperate. I mean it’s not like I texted my friends, and casually mentioned that I didn’t receive their cards. Okay, since they are probably reading this anyway, maybe I texted one or two or even three friends, but I just didn’t want them to be left out of my Christmas card book.

Oh yes, you heard me. I save photo Christmas cards in an album that we can look at year after year. I’d like to say I do this because I’m clever, creative, organized and a little nostalgic. But really it started because my mother believes, and has passed this neurotic belief on to me, that it is bad luck to throw away a photo. Yes. I am serious; I do not throw away photos. If we have ever had a photo of you it’s still here somewhere. We’ve moved these photos from house to house to house. Heck, we’ve even lugged these photos across the country. We’re like our own little Smithsonian (if the Smithsonian catalogued photos of ordinary people putting bunny ears behind their friends’ heads). If it’s a Christmas letter photo in our possession you’ll have the honor of making the book. If it’s anything else your photo will sit on the fridge for a while and then eventually be tossed into a drawer along with trinkets, hoozy-whatsits and thingamajigs. Look at it this way, if you ever run for political office and are afraid that less-than-savory photo of you from college might surface, well it will…oh sorry that’s probably not reassuring-especially for those of you who didn’t send me a Christmas card this year.

This year my obsession with the Christmas cards seems to be teetering on the verge of Charlie Brownness. Go ahead and think back to the Valentine’s Day Special when Charlie Brown relentlessly checks his mail in hopes of receiving a Valentine. Now keep that image in your mind, throw some curly hair and some mascara on old Chuck and you have the perfect image of me at my mailbox daily. Unlike Charlie Brown, though, my mailbox isn't always empty. Boy oh boy, when a card arrives I am giddy. Some days several cards arrive, I can barely breathe thinking about it. It’s so exciting!

As the holiday season draws to a close I feel a tinge of sadness. I know soon the only thing filling my mailbox will be bills and catalogues. The best I can hope for is a wedding invitation or a baby announcement. I look forward to next Christmas season when I am almost guaranteed to find a card in my mailbox every day. And just to be sure no one forgets me next year, I’ve decided to send out self-addresses stamped envelopes.