Another Running Essay-Why I did the Dirty Girl Dirty Dude Diehard Challenge

Back in ancient times (read 1991), when I was a dorm dweller at UMASS, I was always the last to bed. I would stay up regularly until 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning. I couldn’t go to sleep until the last book was shut, the last Beastie Boys CD was quieted, the last bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 was polished off, and the last boy was kicked out of the ladies restroom.  Back in those days, my condition was undiagnosed. Now we know it by its scientific name-FOMO.

FOMO as defined by the American Academy of SocialMediocracy is the fear of missing out. This, a condition I could have written the book on (and might still), is the reason I joined this challenge. My life has changed a lot since last spring. I got a new job, I turned forty, I had a friendship break-up, I gained ten pounds, I unknowingly grew a handlebar mustache, I was called ma’am and middle aged more times than I will ever admit to, I quickly made friends and just as quickly had to ask them to take a back burner to my overstuffed life. I had to start cutting back on my commitments; I could no longer attend my beloved Monday night speedwork classes. Saturday mornings became hit or miss, too. Hoka nights came and went, and my friends started swinging from ceilings and climbing up poles. The Dirties, (as I have cleverly nicknamed this beloved brood) were having fun and living their lives-without me! The audacity!!  Then along came the challenge, I wasn’t going to let another Dirty Girl and Dude event go on without this lass. So I shaved my mustache, texted my mother-I mean Susan Olive, grabbed a points’ sheet from Alexa and got started.

I really don’t believe in extrinsic rewards and incentives for motivation. I don’t use them in my teaching or my parenting. Having said that, I did track my points and I turned them in three out of four months. I got points for falling, crying, and bleeding. I got points for eating well, for drinking water, for crafting presents and for running hills. I got two random prizes along the way- a beautiful medal hanger to display my many heavy duty, much deserved, sparkling medals(not that I care about them, you know I’m not into extrinsic rewards!) and I got a lunch bag that says “Pow!”, which I use every day.

 All of these things have helped me bridge my busy life with the lives of my friends. “So, Marcy, get any blood points lately?” “Hey, Dawn, want an apple from my cool POW lunch bag?” “Gee Lori B, I cried three times this week.”  Sometimes I might even do a little bragging or teasing, “By the way David, did you see that horse crap I just stepped in?” “Sorry, Lori, brown sugar is not a whole food.” Without this challenge, I may have missed out on being able to share these seemingly mundane snippets. Before the challenge I’d run through a puddle and think “I wish I could tell someone I just ran through a puddle, but no one would appreciate that.” But now, I can post it on facebook and have 16 likes within the hour. And pathetic or not, there are days when I just really need those sixteen likes.

As someone living with the condition of FOMO, there have been times when I have wanted to drop off the Facebook grid. This is the dark side of FOMO. I have noticed that sometimes instead of feeling happy and excited when I see posts of my friends having fun together, I have felt envious and sad. Why wasn’t I invited, have they forgotten about me, do they still think I am fun? Participating in the challenge is my way of saying “pssst I am still here, I am still pretty dang fun and oh btw, I have the FB selfies to prove it.”

This year has been busy and full of challenges. If every mistake is a lesson, I am learning a ton. I continue to struggle with balancing my life and with saying no to projects. This challenge was yet another commitment that I took on at a time when I didn’t think I should possibly do another thing. However, I don’t think it added to my feelings of being overwhelmed and overscheduled. It gave me motivation to go for a run and to stick with my routine, even when it was windy or rainy or dark.

 A lot of people have really good, honorable motives for taking on the challenge. Maybe doing it because of FOMO isn’t the most admirable reason, but it’s my reason. I know that in life we have to make choices. Sometimes there are so many things we want, but we have to choose wisely. I think participating in this challenge was a wise one. I am grateful I did it. And on that note, I am heading to bed as I have a serious case of Fear Of Missing Out (on a good night’s sleep).